Valentine's Day "I Love You!" -
Simple Acts of Daily Kindness Convey a Ton of Love
When we were just newlyweds back from our honeymoon, my handsome new
husband surprised me and said, "When you do the laundry, this is how I
want you to fold my clothes - socks, handkerchiefs, T-shirts, etc."
My eyes grew wide wondering what I had gotten myself into. But not
having any better way to do it, I went along with his request. After
all, how did I know how to fold a man's clothes when I was only
twenty-one? The drawers actually looked neat and I always felt a sense
of satisfaction when it was put away.
I continued that practice over the
next two decades. Yet I was
surprised when one night as we were getting ready for bed my husband
turned to me and said, "I can tell you really love me."
"Oh, really," I replied. "What makes you say that?"
"Because every morning I open my dresser drawers, I've
never run out of clean clothes," he said.
I smiled back at him and thought to myself, If that's all it takes to
make him feel loved, I can do that! And the laundry continued to get
folded as I recalled his words.
BUT the story wasn't over that easily.
We moved to a new home with room for only l long towel bar in the master
bath. And honestly I became annoyed when David laid out his towel open
over mine to dry. Mine was never dry as this practice continued and I
wasn't too happy about a damp towel.
Every morning began with that marital rift between us until I brought it
up one Saturday.
"Honey," I began (which I only happen to say when I am broaching a
sensitive topic when I want something.) "Did you know that I teach
women across the country how to fold towels in thirds with the
"Decorative Edge" on the sides? This allows two towels to sit side by
side and would really solve our towel problem."
"Problem?" he replied, "There's no problem. I just have to do it this
way so it will be dry the next time I use it. I can just put up another
towel bar - anywhere you want."
Well, after measuring and pondering where "anywhere" was for that second
towel bar, I proclaimed it didn't fit into our decorating scheme of
things. So we continued the banter back and forth, until we realized a
folded towel didn't dry enough if you showered twice in the same day,
but did dry overnight. That had begun his "spread out look" but wasn't
really necessary every day, we agreed.
After that definitive discussion, I noticed the next morning that his towel was folded
nicely as requested. But I wasn't ready to thank him for a one day
gesture. I just placed mine neatly next to his.
About 10 days later of neatly folded towels I smiled at David one
morning and said, "David, I can tell you really love me." (A couple
years had passed since he used that line on me so I knew he had
forgotten about it.)
"Oh," he responded in surprise. "Why is that?"
"Well, you know... you fold your towel the way I like it. Thank you."
He smiled and we had solved one of the many problems in marriage
together.
The moral of the story? Love is not just a matter of candlelight and
roses on Valentine's Day. It's a matter of everyday kindnesses around the house by doing
thoughtful organizing actions to make the day easier for the people you
live with whether putting away your dishes in the dishwasher, taking out
the trash, or putting the laundry away everyday.
So now it's your turn. What has your spouse, child, or roommate
complained about lately? Never cleaning up the dishes, meals not on
time, or dirty socks on the floor?
It's not a sign of weakness to fix the problem from your end.
Actually you will have a stronger relationship for getting for putting
in an organizing system that works.
So what can you do? Here's some tips to start you off:
Him: Pick up your socks and hang up your clothes. You didn't
marry a maid, you married a wife!
Her: Put away your makeup each day. He has enough hurdles to
cross each morning without you adding to it.
Him: Take out the trash without being asked. it's the manly thing
to do.
Her: Clean up the kitchen and sit down for a minute to talk. Stop
your whirlwind motions and be his "date."
Him: Express appreciation for a home cooked meal. The meals
will probably start improving when you do!
Her: For fun e-mail him what's for dinner and what time it will
be ready. I did this for my family and they all showed up on time!
Together: Discuss whether paper piles and housecleaning chores
are working out for your lifestyle. If not, ask what would be most
important to improve and work on a solution for that one problem.
Together: Appreciate the strengths of your partner and tell them
so. Hold back on the complaints until you get a regular "Appreciation
Fan Club" of sincere compliments going in their direction.
"Getting Your Spouse to Do Things" Story: One time when I worked
with a decorator who said, "Marcia, I've never seen anyone get their
husband to do so much. how do you do I?"
I hadn't thought about that, but the answer came quickly. "I think
carefully about what i want done and only show him a short list of three
things I want done, and then thank David profusely for doing it!"
VALENTINE'S WEEK: So get organized at home, clean up your
"messes," and be kind to your Sweetheart, roommate, children, dog, or
cat. It's a great way to build a lasting love, one kindness at a time.
Happy valentine's Day.
* IF one or both of you need help getting organized, you need to get the
Simplify Your Life Deluxe Package
of a book, CD's, booklets, and workbook to get your household in
shape. It will solve a lot of organizational stresses in your life and
relationships.
"This weekend Sat. my
husband and I worked on his closet and we able to give away two big
garbage bags of clothes. It felt so good. In the past we would
pack them up and store them in the garage. Today, Sunday, after
church we actually delivered them to the clothes bins. It felt just
wonderful.
"I also worked on the
Personal Organization Center and two of my piles of paper. It makes
so much sense. I especially love the sample prayers at the end of
each chapter, they express my needs so accurately. I read quite a
few books on organization and none of them have met my needs like
yours. I also think the workbook is a wonderful idea. It forces me
to think about my next step and provides accountability for me.
- Deborah Gajee, New Jersey
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